Missed Interpretations
by Atari Atagashi-Chan
Summary: Iruka was living a normal life across the internet, having his second job being a psychiatrist through email to people he didn’t know. When someone familiar emails him saying that he loves someone, what will our Academy Teacher do? [KakaIru][FINISHED!]
1. The Wonders Of ScreenNames

A/N: Haha... I'm working on 17 new fics at the same time when all of sudden, this idea pops into my head... XXD I'm insane... lawl  
I'm thinking this might be slightly like the D Files, only I'm making this one a yaoi instead of NejiTen... (not to mention I'm using email instead of Tenten's diary! XD)  
Pairing: KakaIru... there'll probably be hints of other pairings too...  
Rating: Teen... might go up if this isn't a oneshot  
Authoress: Moi! Er... ehehe... Atari Atagashi-Chan  
FULL summary: Iruka was living a normal life across the internet, having his second job being a psychiatrist through email to people he didn't know. But, when someone familiar emails him saying that he loves someone, what will our Academy Teacher do?

Disclaimer: I don't own the Naruto series

XXX

Iruka yawned as he walked home to his house from another exhausting day at the ninja academy. After opening the door, the nin closed it and locked it, trudging wearily up to his bedroom. He wanted to go to sleep, but he knew he had his other job to maintain.

His other job was helping kids and/or adults through email consult their problems and to help them through hard times and suffering.

So, as usual, he pushed the on button to his monitor and the screen flashed brightly to life. Iruka sighed and double-clicked on his internet shortcut, opening a window with adelphia as it's homepage. He clicked into the browser and went to hotmail. After typing in his password, the page renewed itself to his mail inbox. He scrolled through about twenty emails and sighed as he realized he had to answer them all. So, he decided to get it done as fast as possible.

It wasn't that he didn't like the job, it was just that it was quite troublesome to come home every night after a grueling day keeping the academy students in line to have to answer emails from other children and families throughout the world.

He clicked on the first one and began to read. He noticed that this person was a first-timer in getting help over the internet, seeing as the person had an sn Iruka didn't recognize. He smiled at the thought of someone new and read on.

_Umm... this is my first time doing this... and I debated for a really long time on whether to get help or not... but I finally decided to do so, seeing as one of my friends' has been telling me to get help for a while, now. Umm, well... I guess I'll tell you my problem... You see, I've been getting slightly depressed lately... I don't know what's going on. Normally, in the daytime, I'd be teaching three students in the area of ninpou... but, they've all left me... and the one I loved most became evil and is now helping our arch-nemesis destroy the village I live in. I don't know what to do with myself now... In my past, I lost everyone I ever knew to a demon with that they call the kyuubi. (If you've ever heard of it...)_

Iruka stopped, straightening up and fully awake now.

'The nine-tails...' He thought, his jaw ajar slightly.

_My father committed suicide when I was little and I've killed so many because I was on a specialized force to village I live in called the ANBU... I did it when I was a kid and now I'm regretting every second of it. I've even tried to commit suicide before. And, now... I've fallen in love with someone the same gender as me... I don't know what's wrong with me! Can you help?_

_Signed:_

_Scarecrow15_

Iruka gulped. He had never dealt with a gay relationship before. At least, he assumed this person was a guy. He knew this person must live in Konoha, being on the ANBU forces AND mentioning the kyuubi... Iruka's eyes snapped open.

"An ANBU when he was a child... there was only one person on the ANBU forces as a child... and that's... Ka...ka...shi..." His words slowed like molasses as the realization hit him. He gulped and looked at the screen name. Scarecrow15. He knew that there was something about Kakashi meaning scarecrow in english... and the 15 must stand for his birthday! His birthday was on September 15th! And... the friend who had been nagging him to go get help had been Iruka, himself!

The brown-haired chuunin slowly swallowed his saliva.

"I... can't tell him it's me... but... the same gender...? Who..." He wondered aloud, trying to think of who the hell Kakashi could possibly like? The Hatake had never been gay before... what was making him feel this way now? "...To tell the truth, I'm jealous..." Iruka whispered after checking to make sure he was really alone. He sighed and thought for a moment.

"Hnn... what to do, what to do... Should I write back to him, telling him my name? Or... should I go along with it...?" Iruka remembered that it was his duty as an internet psychiatrist to keep his identity secret, so he decided to write back, pretending he didn't know who it was.

_Dear Scarecrow15,_

_I'm glad you decided to write to me. I can understand how you feel about loosing many precious to you. I've, sadly, had the same experience... also by the kyuubi. I don't know much about your past,_

'...damn.. that was a lie...' Iruka thought guiltily. Kakashi had told Iruka everything about his past. And Iruka remembered it well.

_...but, maybe I can help._

_I'm getting the impression you're feeling guilty about not being able to bring the ones you killed back to life. You're probably feeling stressed that you were only a child and didn't know any better... But, if you want to make up for it, do it by helping others and maybe try getting a job where you wouldn't have to work with students (so you won't be reminded of the three you had priorly) and make sure it's something that'll keep you busy and not thinking about it._

_Of course, there is a downside to that. I'd say that in this situation, confronting your problems would be the best way to go. Maybe find a counselor you're comfortable in opening up to and have weekly sessions. Or maybe you could try to find yourself a spouse that you'd feel comfortable in telling everything to them._

_But I will tell you is this. Don't try to get yourself drunk and don't try to commit suicide. That won't help at all and, if anything, it will only make your problems worse. Please act rationally._

_As for falling in love with someone the same gender as you? I'm afraid I'm not too experienced in that region. You're the first to come to me with this problem (surprisingly enough). I'll try to go with my best instinct though._

_I'd, personally, say to give it up. You can never be together and fate will, eventually, pry you two apart. Sometimes, that may be more than difficult to do, depending on if you really love them or not._

_I believe your feelings of love and desire for someone the same gender as you may just be because you are feeling depressed and such. You may not realize it, but your body will automatically respond to this situation with a need for anothers' warmth and care._

_Also, if this other person has been a childhood friend, or maybe someone who understands you, then you'll also be persuaded by your body to love the other person._

_Write back if you need anything else. I will always be glad to help._

_-UI_

Iruka leaned back in his chair and read it over once more to make sure it was plausible to send out. He hoped with all his might that Kakashi would listen to his advice and not figure out that UI stood for Umino Iruka. He sighed and clicked 'send' and away it went. Iruka stared at the screen for a second, then realized he still had 19 more emails to do. He growled and started on the next one.

XXX

In the morning, Iruka awoke to his alarm clock as usual. He wearily hit the off button and slid out of bed into his slippers. He shuffled slowly into the bathroom and turned on the water to his shower. Stretching, he went over in his mind everything that had happened last night and began to ponder on who it was that Kakashi loved that was the same gender as he. He stripped down and stepped into the steaming hot water, letting the crystal droplets slither down his slender frame. He sighed and tried to think harder.

'Asuma...? No... Gai?... definitely not... wait. He mentioned that 'the student whom he loved' had gone away and became evil... does that mean... Sasuke?' The chuunins' eyes widened as he shook the thought from his mind.

'No, no, NO! That CAN'T be true! I wish he liked me... wouldn't that be something...?' Iruka gave a weak smile to his reflection in the pool of water circling his feet. He hoped to kami-sama that he could break Kakashi and whoever the other guy was up! He decided then and there that he'd do everything in his power to pry them apart!

Little did he know, Kakashi had been talking about him when he wrote it.

XXX

A/N: Blah... very short, ne? Well... yeah. Ten reviews before I update, please! Well, if you want me to update, review! If not, don't review! That's the way I know whether you just stopped reading this after a couple words or whether you actually stuck to it... well... ja!


	2. Almost

A/N: 12 reviews... that's over 10... Not a high number, but good enough for me to continue:3 Well... here's le next chappie! Thankies fer le reviews, you guys!  
Haha... I, at first, started out (in the first chapter) writing this in Kakashi's POV... but, then I erased it all, started over, and changed to Iruka's POV. I found that it's a lot more convenient... XD

Disclaimer: I dun own le Naruto series

XXX

Iruka was on his way to the academy. He was so preoccupied trying to think of ways to get Kakashi to stop loving this 'other guy'. He growled through his clenched teeth and decided to look around for some male nin that Kakashi could have possibly fallen for. Much to his surprise, when he looked up, he had just caught a glimpse of Kakashi rounding the corner in front of him.

He perked up with a smile and ran towards the silver-haired jounin.

Iruka slowed to a fast walk when he reached the taller nin's side and put on his prettiest smile.

"Ohayo gozaimasu, Kakashi-sensei!" He greeted casually. Kakashi looked down to him and smiled back wearily behind his mask.

"Ohayo..." The jounin sighed and looked back to the snow-covered road in front of him. He glanced down to Iruka, noticing he didn't have anything out of the ordinary that would keep him warm for the winter season. Kakashi closed his eyes and took off his scarf, wrapping it around Iruka's neck slowly. "Y'know... you go around without any warmth and you're gonna catch a cold, Iru-kun..." He whispered. Iruka blinked, blushing wildly.

"Heh... I guess I wasn't thinking this morning..." He replied, hugging the scarf around his neck, taking in every delicate whiff of Kakashi's remaining fragrance.

After a couple steps of awkward silence, Kakashi spoke up.

"Ano... Iruka-san?"

"Yeah?"

"Uh... I just wanted to thank you..."

Iruka looked puzzledly up to the jounin.

"Thank me? For what?"

"For telling me to go and get advice from someone... I guess I had more problems than I wanted to admit..." Kakashi whispered, looking sadly at the snow-frosted pavement beneath his feet. Iruka stopped walking and stared at the jounin, who stopped after a couple more steps and looked back to the chuunin. Iruka smiled.

"...did you get advice from someone?" He asked, making sure he wasn't revealing anything about it being him that gave the jounin the advice.

"Yeah... Really useful advice, too... I think I'm going to take it..." He said slowly, and turned to keep walking. Iruka perked up and caught up to the jounin, puffs of white breath emitting from his mouth.

"What're you going to do...?"

"...I... I'm thinking of going back into the ANBU..." Kakashi said quietly.

"Eh!-?" Iruka came to a halt and stared wide-eyed after the jounin. "What?... but...why?" He asked, completely baffled. Kakashi stopped and turned back to Iruka with a sigh.

"Here... you have to be anywhere specific?"

"Well... The academy doesn't open for another hour... and Shikamaru could handle my classes if I'm not there... why?"

"Good... come on..." Kakashi walked to Iruka, grabbed him right above the elbow, and drug him into a nearby tea parlor on the side of the road.

XXX

Kakashi took a long sip of his hot chocolate, his mask completely off and a new scarf around his neck. Iruka watched him curiously, a steaming mug of raspberry cocoa in his mittened hands. The two were in a cozy booth, one opposite the other, in a small parlor filled with people trying to get away from the chilly winds of winter. As the jounin slowly set his cup down, he started off with his explanation.

"...I want to join the ANBU again because it keeps me away from kids, who remind me of Obito and Rin... and it keeps me occupied...so I don't think about-" Kakashi stopped there, not daring to say the next word and avoided eye contact.

"Who...? Think about who?" Iruka pursued. Kakashi shot Iruka a glance.

"Who said it was a who?" He asked suspiciously. Iruka blushed and immediately took a long sip of his steaming raspberry cocoa. "That's what I thought..." Kakashi growled.

"Kakashi..." Iruka started slowly, after putting his cup down. "...you know you can tell me anything..." He whispered quietly. Kakashi looked up and met the chuunins' eyes. Two chestnut brown eyes stared sorrowfully back into one crimson sharingan and one glistening silver.

Kakashi looked to the side once more.

"...there's nothing to tell..."

Iruka sighed and leaned on the table, resting his chin in the palms of his hands

"If you don't have anything to talk to me about, then you can always come to me just to have someone to be with... I promise, I'll always be there for you..." Before Iruka had time to realize he was saying these words out loud, he had said them. He blamed it on his psychiatric instincts. Kakashi looked up to him and the chuunin blushed wildly. "Er... wh-what I mean is-"

Kakashi got up and slyly slid himself into Iruka's side of the booth, corning him to the frosted window. It looked almost like London outside, it was so beautiful.

"You won't die on me... will you, Iruka-kun?" Kakashi asked. Iruka blinked. He didn't know what to say. But, those two pleading eyes were just begging him to reassure the jounin. His bottom lip quivered slightly with confusion.

"I..."

Kakashi would've cut him off with a kiss right there, but, much to his dismay, the jounin suddenly remembered the advice 'UI' had given him, and looked away.

"Never mind... I guess I should be getting to meet with Naruto and Yamato, anyways..." He whispered and got up from the booth. "I'll pay..." He added, getting some yen from his pocket and placing it on the table by the tab. Iruka blinked. He should have stopped him. That's what he wanted to do. He wanted to yell out to him. Call him back, kiss him, even! But all he could do was watch as the silver-haired nin trudged wearily out of the parlor.

Iruka sighed as the familiar tinkling of the bell above the door met his ears and got up from the booth. Ever so slowly, the chuunin started on his way to the academy.

XXX

It had been a long grueling day for the chuunin. The academy students were even harder to control today. But, as he knew all too well, today still wasn't over, even though it was nearing midnight now.

The chestnut-haired dolphin growled to himself as his monitor flickered to life and the familiar Christmas-themed desktop came into view. Iruka liked to set his backgrounds according to either the holiday or what month/season it was. Currently, it was December in Japan, so he knew in three days, Christmas was around the corner. He knew he still needed to buy presents for everyone. Naruto, Sakura, Sasuke, Moegi, Udon, Konohamaru... the list went on and on. But, there was one person at the top of his list that he could never forget. And that person was Kakashi.

Iruka smiled as he snuggled Kakashi's scarf. He still had it wrapped around his neck. He remembered he had run into the jounin at the end of the day and how Kakashi had politely told him to keep it. He slowly smelt his scent. The fragrance was still slightly there, to his pleasure.

Suddenly, he remembered he was supposed to be doing his job so he could get to bed. He sighed and double-clicked on his internet shortcut. A proverbial homepage popped up and his eyes briefly scanned the page. He clicked inside the browser, as usual, and went to his email. After a couple seconds, he had just opened up the first email to find something that sparked his interest.

"Kakashi-kun..." He whispered to himself, blushing slightly. "He wrote back..."

Dear UI,

I'd like to thank you for your help so far. It's very greatly appreciated. Umm... I have a couple more things to ask you, though...

I'm thinking about rejoining the ANBU forces from when I was little. It would let me get away from the kids and it would keep me occupied, so I wouldn't have to think about the one I'm in love with. Speaking of which...

I almost kissed him today... It was kind of awkward... I was telling him about how I finally got advice from someone and I got a little jumpy from his innocent expression and his all-around cuteness... I really, really think I love him! But... I've NEVER been gay before in my ENTIRE life! Can I like one guy without being gay?

-Scarecrow15

Iruka smirked to himself. This was his chance to break Kakashi's "other lover" and him up! The chuunin was quite jealous that Kakashi had told someone ELSE about his problems and that he trusted someone else enough to almost kiss them!

"I must do something about this..." Iruka growled and got typing.

XXX

A/N: Er... I'll update soon... sorry it was kind of short... I'll be sure to do a longer chapter next time! I sort of gotta go to bed now... Ja! (Review please, and I will continue when I reach 20 reviews!)


	3. Secrets Unfold: A Bittersweet Defeat

A/N: Rawr! Long time no see, huh? XD I promised an update when I reached 20 reviews...well, I kinda got a little more than that, didn't I? (cough42cough) XD Heh. Sorry 'bout that. Almost 50 reviews for 2 chapters...not bad!! Thanks, you guys!!! Tenkies!! Love you all!

Disclaimer: I don't own the Naruto series or any of Masashi's wonderful characters. X3

Ah, I feel so bad for Iruka in this chapter! Haha. XP I'm so terrible! LOL!

* * *

_Dear Scarecrow15,_

_You're very welcome. But, I believe you're taking this all wrong._

_First off, the ANBU? No, no. Don't do that! You'll become a merciless killer just like you were. You don't want that, right? It may get you away from the kids, but it will surely bring back more memories than you'll want to remember. Just stay calm. What're some other options? Some that maybe aren't so drastic? Retirement, maybe? Or, perhaps you could find...hm...well, I don't exactly know. You live in Konohagakure, don't you? How about asking your Hokage for some options that maybe require working alone? Messenger nin, maybe? I hear they're needing more. Talk to someone. Maybe try to ask around and see what's available! You never know what you could find._

_As for your second inquiry, yes. You CAN like another of the same gender and not be gay...however, that's highly unlikely. Bisexual? Or bi-curious, maybe? I'd place my bet there. You almost kissed him today? What the hell were you thinking!?_

'Is that too harsh...?' Iruka thought, pausing with his fingers above the keyboard. He shook his head bewilderedly. 'No...nothings too harsh to break them apart!!'

_You're friends with him, are you not? Then, DON'T pursue these feelings any further!! You'll RUIN your relationship with him! Just be grateful you have him as a friend! Don't try to get more than you already have. It WON'T happen. Hate to break it to you, but it's reality. You're not in a fantasy novel. Give. It. UP!_

_Here's one word of advice for you that you absolutely MUST take for this to work and/or help: Avoid him._

_Write back soon. I look forward to hearing from you to see how this goes._

_-UI_

A smile caressed Iruka's lips as he nodded in satisfaction. "There's no WAY he'll be able to keep this up with THAT kind of advice!" And clicked send.

That night, Iruka went to bed satisfied. The next morning, however, didn't go as smoothly...

* * *

"Good morning, Kakashi-san!" Iruka chirped as he idled himself next to the jounin in the streets and smiled. He blinked suddenly, his smile dropping as he noticed Kakashi picking up the pace, as though trying to get away from him. "O-oi! Ma-matte!" He yelped, trying to catch up. To his surprise, Kakashi took one jump and disappeared over a rooftop into a neighboring alley. The chuunin stopped dead in his tracks. To say he was bewildered would be an understatement.

The rest of the day went the same way. Every time Iruka saw Kakashi, he'd call out or even run up to him and try to tap him to get his attention. Each time the jounin even caught sight of Iruka, he would dash, as though he were purposely avoiding him.

Iruka went home that night without having spoken a word between them the entire day.

* * *

Back at home, he eagerly leapt to his computer and flicked the monitor to 'on', rushing to get to his email. Maybe an email from Kakashi would explain this strange behavior. To his surprise, not even one single response from Kakashi was sitting in his inbox. He blinked, brow furrowing in confusion.

"M-...maybe it's in 'junk'...?" He whispered nervously, checking his junk mail. When he found nothing but a couple sex ads, he bit his lower lip, checking every single sub-folder he had. When he had found nothing, he felt as though the air had been sucked out of him.

"What the hell is going on?"

* * *

The next day passed with no communication. Not only did Iruka not converse with his crush, but he didn't even see him the entire day. He asked around constantly, asking nearly everyone within eyesight if they had seen him. He spent his breaks looking around Konoha for the jounin. He checked all the obvious places. He checked all the unobvious places. He even checked the places where no human being could possibly be. Then, he did a recap around the entire village.

No Kakashi.

So, in defeat, Iruka trudged home around midnight with an exhausted body and a broken heart.

* * *

_Dear UI,_

_I took your advice. I've been avoiding him since yesterday when I received your reply. I made sure I was out of the village all day today, too, so I wouldn't have a chance to even lay eyes on him. But, it's just not working... I love him so much. And, to see him hurt like that...it hurts me, too. Every time I tried to run from him, I could see disappointment welling in his eyes. I knew I was hurting him. And I feel so terrible about it. I can't avoid him much longer... I'm at my breaking point._

_Just, sometimes I wish he wasn't so...blind. I can now see he likes me. And, of course, I love him right back. But...he just doesn't get it. Not to mention I've been exchanging emails with him this entire time, too. I've been sending him underlying hints that I like him. But, he just doesn't get it. He REALLY doesn't get it._

_One more day till Christmas. I want to get him a gift...and surprise him. I already know the gift I'll give him and the surprise I'll throw him. But...I can't tell you what those things are for my own reasons. Should I go through with this? I can tell you're a bit against our relationship, but I really think he'd like this._

_Thanks, once again, for your help._

_-Scarecrow15_

Iruka was more than ecstatic to find this email in his inbox when he got home. Just reading it gave him chills. When he hit the third line, his entire body went rigid with hysteria. He was STILL in love with this guy!? WHY!? Iruka was beyond fed up.

"Kakashi, what the hell're you doing, you twit!?" Iruka yelled at his computer. "I told you it won't work! Why the hell're you fawning over this guy when you can have the love of your life right in front of you? Me, Kakashi! I'm the one you should be in love with! Why can't you see that? I love you...why won't you just give up on this guy and come to meeee!?" Iruka cried, letting his head fall into his cupped hands and sobbed, throwing himself a pity fest. It was obvious no one else was going to. "Fuck! Kakashi, you little sleazy bastard! Why in the world did I ever let you sneak into my fucking heart!? I hate you..." He hissed furiously, knowing he meant not a word of it. "I want a present from you...I want a surprise from you...why are so blind as to not see that I've fallen madly in love with you!?" Suddenly, Iruka stopped, bringing his head up and shaking it, brow furrowed in confusion. "...what the fuck was that? I sound like I'm reading lines from a sappy romance novel..." He hissed in exasperation, shaking his head in bewilderment. Iruka immediately made a reminder never to do that again. He then also reminded himself that talking to himself wasn't very healthy.

_Dear Scarecrow15,_

_No, don't do that! Do ANYTHING but that! Well...just think! What if there's another person who's been crushing on you their entire lives? What if there's another person out there wanting to be with you? What if there's another person who wants that present and surprise? What if there's another person wanting nothing more than to have his or her Christmas brightened by seeing the one they love? Think of the possibilities! I know it's not your place to be compassionate or anything or take someone on a pity date, but maybe, just this once, you could do something for that special someone who's been crushing on you! You just...need to find out who that is. But, I can almost guarantee you that it's someone who's been right under your nose the entire time._

_-UI_

"I've got to say that that's probably the suckiest advice I've ever written ANYONE in my entire life...but I'm sure as hell proud of it," With a smile on his face, he pressed send and moved on. Tomorrow, he would try his hardest not to think about Kakashi unless it was during his shopping. He'd be doing all his Christmas shopping tomorrow...for everyone. And he was going to get Kakashi a present no matter what! And it'd be a damn good one, too!

* * *

"Iruka-sensei!!" A voice called loudly from the streets. Iruka stopped in his path, the bright winter morning sun reflecting off the snow in the streets of Konoha. Iruka whirled around just in time to see Naruto come to a stop right in front of him with that broad goofy-looking grin on his face that everyone in Konoha just can't seem to get enough of. The chuunin smiled at his former pupil.

"Good morning to you, Naruto!" Iruka beamed. "How goes it?" He asked as he turned to continue on towards the shops.

"Well...I was hoping to get something for Sakura-chan...ano...I-I just don't know what to get her!" Naruto laughed nervously. Though he was severely more mature and his crush on Sakura had dwindled some and faded towards Hinata the slightest bit, he still wanted to impress his cell-mate with a super-awesome gift. Iruka read him like a book.

"You still crushing on her after all these years?" He laughed. Naruto frowned.

"Maybe! So what if I am! I just wanna get the perfect gift for her! Y'know..."

"Impress her?" Iruka finished for him. Naruto nodded twice.

"Yeah...what do girls like?" He asked absentmindedly. The chuunin blinked and looked up to the sky, thinking.

"Well, let's see... Sakura isn't exactly your typical female, y'know...However, she does seem to like kimonos quite a bit. Why don't you check into some winter kimonos? And maybe get her a couple matching hair pieces to go with it? Women always seem to like that stuff," Iruka looked down at his former student. "That is...if you're not on a tight budget, of course...the cost to that would run pretty high."

Naruto sighed. "Guess I won't be able to impress her, huh...?" He asked with an expression of defeat plastered across his face. Iruka thought for a moment, then sighed a bit annoyedly.

"Here," He stated, handing Naruto just enough yen to cover the entire cost. "Get her something special...just this one Christmas."

The blonde beamed up at Iruka.

"For real!?"

Iruka nodded. Naruto burst into gleeful smiles and hugged onto Iruka tightly. "Thanks, Iruka-sensei!!" And with that, he bounded off to the stalls to find Sakura the perfect winter kimono and matching hair set. Iruka could only smile. At least two people would be happy this Christmas.

Yet, with a sigh of realization, Iruka remembered that it wouldn't be him and Kakashi who would be those two happy people.

* * *

"Whew! Finally done!" Iruka sighed as he lugged nearly twice his weight in presents over his shoulders. It was almost 11pm now- and he had started out at 9am. Gee, how time flies when one's thinking of Kakashi!

As the bright white crystals fell to the ground under the stars of nighttime, Iruka set down everything under a streetlamp next to a bench where he sat, relaxing for a bit. Shopping all day was anything but a man's day of fun. Especially when that man was a ninja with a love-life-crisis to nag at him.

The chuunin laid his head back as far as it could go on the bench, closed his eyes, and slowly inhaled the cool winter air. As he exhaled he could hear footsteps. Opening his eyes, he soon knew who those footsteps belonged to.

"Kakashi!" He yelped, getting to his feet. The minute Kakashi's eyes met his, the jounin turned to run once more. Iruka wouldn't have it. The chuunin leapt at him and grabbed on, holding tight to his arm and not letting his go. "Wait! Just wait a minute!!...please..." He begged, hugging onto Kakashi's arm tighter, squeezing. The jounin, slightly perplexed, looked back to Iruka. With no hitai-ate on, his bangs fell loosely into his eyes. The two of them were both covered in frost from head to foot. Apparently, Iruka wasn't the only one out all day.

"Iruka..." Kakashi whispered delicately, trying to gently push the other off him. Yet, Iruka held tight.

"No! Don't leave me again! Stop fucking running!" He growled furiously, concern in his eyes. "Kakashi, we need to talk..."

At these words, Iruka calmed a bit. Kakashi, however calm he looked, felt a tingle go through his body.

"Yeah...we do..." The jounin mused uncaringly. Iruka looked him directly in the eye.

"Y-yeah, well...What the hell is going on with you? Why do you keep running? Is it me? What happened? We used to be such good friends... Why're you avoiding me? Please, just tell me...I'll understand...Please, Kakashi, you can tell me anything..._everything_...!" He begged. "Just, please...don't run away from me anymore!" Oh, shit. The tears were coming and Iruka knew it. He tried desperately to hold them back, doing this by clinging to the elder of the two. "Please."

Iruka felt Kakashi sigh long and hard, as though contemplating whether to destroy the world or not. After that, it was complete silence. For what seemed like hours, Iruka held onto Kakashi and Kakashi stood frozen to the spot. Not one of them moved. Not one of them spoke. The only sound that could be heard was the blowing of the cool winter breeze and the stifled cries of Iruka into Kakashi's arm. For what seemed like forever, Kakashi did nothing. Until...

"I already told you everything there is to be told..." The jounin whispered, his voice only able to be heard due to it being picked up on the wind. Iruka looked up at him in disbelief.

"No you haven't! You're hiding something! You're hurting, Kakashi! You're...you're keeping things from me..."

"No, Iruka." Kakashi coaxed, pushing Iruka off of him. "I've told you everything..." He said casually, leaning in till their noses touched. It was only then that Iruka noticed Kakashi wasn't wearing his mask. "Maybe not verbally...but, I've told you everything." Iruka's eyes widened. Did he know!? He quickly opened his mouth to ask, but was cut off by two moistened lips on his own, cascading gingerly as the flowing waterfall in pure experience. It was then that Iruka knew Kakashi had just kissed him.

"And, by the way, it was your damn fault I kept away from you...You're the one who told me to do so, after all..." With a smirk and a wink, Kakashi leapt off, leaving Iruka to stand there in pure silence and unfocused eyes, wondering in bewilderment what in the blazes had just happened.

It took him more than an hour to regain himself, take his things from the streetlamp, and parade home. It took him more than another hour to figure out what was going on.

A first kiss is supposed to be happy. Iruka was confused. Why wasn't he smiling? Why wasn't he jumping for joy and squealing like a fangirl does when she sees two bishie making out with fantastic graphics? Why wasn't he feeling at ease? Why the hell was he so nerved?

He knew why. He knew it very well.

Kakashi had tricked him in his own game.

A sickening jolt of realization made him fall onto his bed at home and bury his head in a pillow and cry. He had just been played by the master. He had prevented their own relationship from forming. And he hadn't even known until now. And now tomorrow was Christmas. And there was nothing he could do to fix what he had destroyed.

_Dear UI,_

_That's great advice, you know...if you weren't the one I were crushing on._

_Iruka...I love you._

_-Kakashi_

* * *

A/N: Ah, the amazing aroma of a bittersweet fic. Don't you just love it? XD Hehe. Well, guess what? I know what I'm doing for the next chapter already! And guess what else!

THE NEXT CHAPTER IS THE LAST CHAPTER!

So, if I make it to 52 reviews, I will update with the last chapter. If not, then I'll wait until I have them. I have to go up 10 reviews each time, y'know? XD Heh. Thanks so much everyone for reading!! I love you all! And, guess what? I'll love you even more if you review! Ta ta for now, luffs! X3


	4. Things Are Not Always As They Appear FIN

A/N: **WARNING: I HAD TO UP THE RATING TO MATURE FOR THIS CHAPTER**! Eheh…XP Sorry…I really didn't _have_ to, but I think that it'd be appropriate for one of the more intense parts..

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto. If I did, it would'a been a yaoi. Heh.

This is a rather long chapter, but it's been fun, you guys! THANKS FOR READING! And sorry for this ending…you're gonna hate me! XD

Much love,  
Atari.

* * *

"Aiye! Arigato gozaimasu, Iruka-sensei!!" Moegi called early in the morning. 

"Thanks, Iruka-san!" Kurenai cooed later that day, kissing him delicately on the cheek.

"Ah, Iruka! You're the best!" Shizune smiled as the two heard a 'Fuck, YEAH, bitch!' in the background from Tsunade.

"Iruka-sensei!! This's awesome dattebayo!!!" Naruto yipped towards the end of the day.

Nearly eleven at night and Iruka was already exhausted. The chuunin had been around the entire village all day handing out presents. It was Christmas after all. He held one last present in his hand.

Kakashi's.

Looking up to the twinkling sky, small shimmering flakes of pure white started trickling down like water, gently blanketing Iruka from top to bottom in a shy sheet of snow crystals. He could hear the celebration in the village going off not far from where he was- the laughter and jubilance of the children, the chitter-chatter of the adults, the bells and Christmas carols being sung for all to hear. Everything in the village was decked out in crimson, emerald, and silver. It was a sight and parade villages from all over united here for- for one night, all the fighting would stop. For one night, everyone would be friends.

Iruka wasn't one for celebrations. Especially when he realized the entire day, he hadn't once seen Kakashi. The gentle glow of the celebration glimmered like a star on earth not far in the distance. Iruka smiled delicately as he knew everyone was having a good time.

With a sigh, he shrugged and looked down at the small palm-sized present in his hand. Just where was Kakashi? He shook his head and put it in his jacket pocket. Tying his scarf tighter around his neck, it was then that he headed home.

* * *

"…Well…at least I managed to make everyone else's Christmas a bit better…" Iruka mused as he went to his computer. As he put his finger on the 'on' button, he paused. With slight hesitation he withdrew his hand. "One night off work won't hurt," He bit his lip, hoping that'd be okay. 

He looked around him- his small house was dimmer and more dreary than ever before, it seemed. With a small sigh, Iruka decided a nice hot shower would do him some good. It was Christmas, so no AC was on, but the cool winter air still blew in through the cracks that were inevitable.

As the chuunin stripped down, he felt a shiver go through his entire body. It was colder out than he thought! Then again, he had had his regular uniform, jacket, scarf, boots, and other winter accessories to help him with the warmth. He quickly turned on the water and went out to snag a pair of clothes from his bedroom to change into while the water heated up.

Looking over, steam started to pour from the bathroom door. The water was scorching hot.

Iruka stepped into the shower and felt another shiver go through him, though this time from the heat instead of the cold. He let out a sigh of relaxation as the water cascaded down his body, trickling through his hair, and slithering through every indent on his body. The feeling of the warm water made his skin prickle with pleasure. It had never felt so good to be under a hot faucet before. When opening his eyes, he could see his reflection on the shower's door, his hot breath steaming the window with each pant he took, fading to fogged, then back to clear, then to fogged again as his breath met the window-like material.

He closed his eyes again and let the water take all the pain away. He blocked out every sound and just listened to the drip drop of the water against his body. To say it was relaxing would be an understatement.

In his mind, he could see Kakashi, leaning in to kiss him that previous night. That devious wink and smirk combo he had given him had brought a tingle through his body. It was then when his thoughts got hazy with the steam. Iruka imagined Kakashi with him this Christmas eve. He imagined them kissing. He could even feel the warm saliva flowing through his mouth as their tongues danced around each other in pleasure. He could feel Kakashi take his lips from his and kiss gently on his neck, the spot that drove him crazy. He could feel his rough hands on his hips, tracing around towards the front and pulling him back by the belly into the jounin's body.

"I love you, Iruka," Kakashi would say in that devious tone the chuunin knew so well. "I love you with all my heart."

"I love you, too, Kashi-kun…" Iruka moaned to himself in the shower. "I love you too…"

"Just who are you talking to?"

Iruka's eyes shot wide open. It was then that he was brought from his alternate reality. Yet, it was also then that most of what he had just been imagining, except for the words, were true.

The chuunin tried to whirl around, but Kakashi's hand held fast on his waist and pulled them close together as the jounin licked at Iruka's neck, nibbling feverishly. He knew it was his hot spot.

"Ka-Ka-Kakashi? Wha-what're you-?"

"Doing naked in your shower?" Kakashi asked, bringing his hands up to Iruka's chest and tracing delicately with his fingers around his nipples. One small squeeze made Iruka jump. Kakashi laughed. "You're so innocent," He whispered, hot breath falling through the water onto Iruka's ear as Kakashi let his chin rest on his shoulder. "But, I can change that…"

Iruka was panting- this HAD to be a dream! Just another one of his fantasies! There was no WAY this could be happening! Yet…it was all real. Every single thing was real. Even the feel of Kakashi's hard penis pressing up against his back.

"Kakashi…" Iruka moaned as the jounin's fingers slithered down to his cock, lacing the index and thumb around it and squeezing gently.

"Happy Christmas…Iru-kun," Kakashi whispered through a strained whisper as he pressed harder on the chuunin's cock. "I love you."

It was the words Iruka had been waiting to hear his entire life.

"How long have you known?" The chuunin asked in an orgasmic tone, referring to his being 'UI'.

"Since the second email you sent me."

"How?"

"Easy. I know you, Iruka…All too well. Don't you think I could tell you apart from everyone else? Besides, you said things that gave you away. Like, knowing I lived in Konoha…and how you mentioned the past of your parents dieing and such…" Kakashi paused, now turning Iruka to face him.

All four eyes interlocked.

"Now," Kakashi continued. "How long did you know it was _me_?" He inquired. Iruka blushed.

"Since the first email you sent me," He smiled. Kakashi smirked.

"How clever…" He whispered, draping his arms around Iruka's neck and pulling them close together. With a lazy side-step, the jounin twirled Iruka around once in the hot water and pressed his lips to the other's. Iruka could feel hot water and warm saliva seeping delicately through his lips as a rough cat-like tongue met his own and danced with his own in his mouth. Kakashi laced his fingers into Iruka's flowing mocha strands and massaged at his scalp while the two deepened the kiss. No longer could either distinguish water from saliva. It was all a hazy blur. The water had only gotten hotter and the steam was making them dizzy, as though intoxicated with heat.

Kakashi let his fingers run through Iruka's hair, only to trace down his back and towards his ass. Iruka let the kiss drop only to fall onto the elder of the two's chest, hearing the soothing lull of the jounin's heart beat drum faster as Kakashi fell straight into rhythm and latched his lips onto Iruka's neck, sucking and lapping at his virgin flesh as though it were the last drop of water on earth. Iruka could feel Kakashi move down onto his shoulder and nibble lovingly. The chuunin let out a soft moan of pleasure as he felt his knees go weak with nostalgia.

Kakashi grabbed onto the chuunin and pulled him closer, kissed him once, then took a hand to grab a bottle of shampoo, all the while the two kept their stare as loving as ever into each other's eyes. The two sparkled with water droplets after Kakashi led the two out of the water to the side of the shower where he could wash his lover's hair.

Without a word, the jounin took the bottle and squirted some shampoo on the top of Iruka's head and put the bottle back in place. Iruka hugged onto Kakashi as the jounin massaged the suds into the chuunin's hair, making his mocha locks a soapy white. Kakashi took his hands from Iruka's head and blew the bubbles off them, the few that still remained drifting into the air and dancing around before they popped. One landed gently on the tip of Iruka's nose. Kakashi merely smirked and popped it with his tongue, right before licking the chuunin, who flinched at the pop. When their eyes met, they both broke into a small fit of giggles before Kakashi took control once more and pressed his lips to Iruka's, lacing his fingers right back into his soapy scalp and massaging once more.

Iruka felt himself being pushed by Kakashi back into the water as he let their kiss break. The jounin looked down at the chuunin, who, he noticed, was a significant amount shorter than he, and saw the scorching water running it's course through Iruka's hair as the suds trickled downward to the drain, forming a white and clear puddle at his feet.

When the rinsing was done, Kakashi didn't bother with conditioner.

"C'mon…I have something I wanna show you…" Kakashi whispered into Iruka's ear before licking at the lobe and tugging gently with his teeth. Iruka smiled in spite of himself and let the jounin drag him out of the water.

It was freezing out. A shiver immediately ran through him, waking him from the gentle nostalgia the steam and hot water had coaxed him into. He immediately took a towel and wrapped it around himself. About to grab a towel for his hair, Kakashi snagged it up and kissed him quickly on the lips.

"Allow me, Sir Umino," He chuckled, draping the towel over the chuunin's head and rubbing gently, hitting pressure points lightly with his thumbs. It took nearly fifteen minutes to dry the two off. Even then, neither were exactly dry, but slightly sticky with the remnants of water.

"Why're the lights dimmed?" Iruka asked, puzzled. Kakashi smirked.

"Get dressed," He urged, nuzzling Iruka at the neck. The jounin, regardless of the cold, stripped Iruka's towel off him and grabbed a loose t-shirt and pulled it over the chuunin.

"I can do the pants myself, thanks," Iruka mumbled, embarrassed. Kakashi laughed.

"But that'd be no fun!" He snickered seductively, pushing Iruka onto the bed and pinning him. His grey hair, when wet, flowed a shimmering silver, the remaining water droplets sparkling a clear rainbow all throughout his hair. Both eyes were set lazily on Iruka, a tiny sincere smile caressing his lips. Kakashi, regardless of temptation, pulled himself off of Iruka and grabbed some pants, not even bothering with any boxers or briefs. He carefully slipped them over Iruka's legs and pulled them up slowly, pausing right before the penis.

"Kakashi? Wha-what're you…?" Iruka felt a tingle of worry sweep over him. He yelped when he felt a warm tongue licking at the head of his cock. "Ka-Kakashi!!" He screeched as Kakashi let his hands make their way under his shirt and lather his abs. The chuunin was ready to kick him off, but Kakashi knew better and let up, pulling Iruka's pants up all the way, zipping and buttoning them closed for the finish. He then took his time getting to his feet and winked at Iruka before clothing himself. "Asshole…" Iruka murmured, though the smile on his face gave his accusation no foundation. Kakashi smiled back.

"The one and only," He stated, offering a hand to Iruka to pull him up off the bed. The two were both now fully clothed. "C'mon…I wanna show you something," He coaxed. Iruka took his hand and let him pull him to his feet. Kakashi pushed Iruka in front of him and placed both hands over his eyes. "Now, I'm gonna guide you. No peeking!" He commanded in a deep tone of mischief. Iruka only went along with it, a smile plastered on his face. He couldn't tell where he was being led. He could, ever so slightly, hear soft music cooing louder and louder as he approached it. "Wait, wait…waaait…alright," Kakashi stopped and took his hands from Iruka, who opened both eyes and blinked twice, letting his vision adjust.

"Oh my God!" He gasped, his smile flying wider.

"Surprise," Kakashi sung, placing his arms around Iruka's waist and belly and pulling him back.

The lights were dimmed down to 'low' and a soft cascade of classical music sung it's tune softly from the stereo in the living room. There, in the middle, sat a small kotatsu for two, with the heat tuned up to full as two glasses with strawberry Champaign sat in tall, slim crystal glasses, a slice of strawberry on the rim. Two lit candles sat in the middle of the table- which was decorated with white out-of-season cherry blossoms. On the table sat two fancy plates with one delicate warm chocolate slice of moist fudge cake, drizzled in a delectable fudge sauce in some sort of asian design, tiny slices of strawberry candy sprinkled all over. In the background, a fire crackled and popped in the fireplace just under the sound of the music. The table was set up to look straight out the window and onto the snowing outdoors.

"C'mon, silly, the food'll get cold, you know," Kakashi teased, pushing Iruka towards the kotatsu. The two snuggled into the mountain of pillows and nuzzled close under the heated table together. Kakashi took Iruka's strawberry off his glass of Champaign and gently pressed it to the chuunin's lips. Iruka smiled and opened as Kakashi fed him the strawberry, the chuunin's lips sliding over Kakashi's finger as he withdrew. "Sweet?"

"Very," Iruka cooed, leaning into Kakashi, who snagged both their Champaign glasses and gave one to Iruka.

"To love," He proposed in a toast. Iruka smiled.

"To love," He agreed, clanking the two glasses together, then taking a sip. Iruka blinked. Something towards the bottom of his glass sparkled. "Hm?" He brought the glass from his lips and gazed into the rosy liquid. And at that moment, his eyes widened, along with Kakashi's delicate smile. "O-oh my-…is…is that-?"

Kakashi nodded as Iruka gazed up at him. He looked like he was about to cry as he grabbed his fork and dipped it into the glass, pulling an eloquent golden ring out of the bottom of the glass.

"It's beautiful!" Iruka gasped, placing his glass down. Kakashi took the ring from him.

"Iruka…" Kakashi whispered, taking the ring and slipping it onto Iruka's ring finger. "Will you marry me?" He asked. Iruka stared in disbelief. Okay, this COULDN'T be real! This HAD to be some sort of set up! Where were the cameras!? Iruka was ready for them to jump out and laugh at him. This COULDN'T be happening! Had he accidentally taken some sort of drug? Was he really in his house? This COULDN'T be happening! It just COULDN'T! It was so _not_ Kakashi! What about Anko!? Just under a year ago, he had been asking Iruka about what he had thought of him asking her for her hand in marriage! Besides…gay marriage was illegal in Konoha!...wasn't it? Oh, wait…Tsunade had changed that rule for Izumo and Kotetsu…

Iruka blinked in disbelief. This wasn't real…he was dreaming! He _had_ to be!! "I-…" But, what if it was real? He couldn't turn him down if it was real! His heart was racing a mile a minute. All this time…_all this fucking time!_ What the hell was going on!? He had only drunken one sip of his Champaign…he couldn't be drunk yet…

"I…don't…I……huh?" Iruka asked, confused. Kakashi laughed.

"Will you or won't you?" He asked calmly, as though there was no doubt that Iruka would say yes.

Oh, this was SO fucked up…

"I…y-ye…yes…?" Iruka asked. Kakashi blinked.

"You sound like you're asking me…" He mused, sounding baffled.

Iruka bit his lip as hard as he could. When he tasted blood and felt the tingle of pain, he knew it was real. One hundred ten percent real. With a smile of disbelief, he looked Kakashi straight in the eyes and nodded simultaneously.

"Yes…Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes!!" Iruka laughed, pouncing on Kakashi in a hug. The Hatake fell over backwards and the two were on their backs, both laughing hysterically. This was so unreal…

That was when Iruka pulled out the package he had been waiting to give Kakashi from under the kotatsu. "And this's for you," He sung, handing the red and green wrapped package to his lover, who looked on in surprise and took it. He sat up cautiously, Iruka hugging onto his arm as he opened it. And, for a second, everything was quiet, except for the lull of the soft music and crackles and pops of the fire.

In the box, sat a small silver ring.

Kakashi could only smile, before he brought Iruka into a kiss.

"Happy Christmas, Iru-kun…Aishteru," Kakashi whispered, kissing him again. It was then that the two fell back over and started making out right there on the floor.

None of the dessert was ever eaten.

* * *

_Brrrrrring!_

Iruka moaned in agony at the sound of his alarm clock in the morning. Classes were on- even though it was the day when every little boy and girl in the village woke their families up at 4am just to open presents. And Iruka had to get up.

The chuunin rolled over onto his side, trying to feel for Kakashi. It was then that he realized he was in his bed.

"Huh?" He blinked, confused and, now, fully awake. "Kakashi?" No answer. He quickly got out of bed and went to the living room where everything had been set up last night. Everything was gone- as though nothing had happened last night. Iruka's heart seemed to slow. "Kakashi?" He asked again, now checking through the entire house.

When he found nothing, the chuunin rushed through getting dressed and dashed out the door to the school, without looking back to the bed- which held in it's sheets a small golden ring.

When he got there, he rushed to where Kakashi normally was, zigzagging between passerby the whole while and almost slipping in the snow on his way there.

* * *

"Kakashi!" Iruka yelped, finally spotting the jounin, who was examining papers with Shizune. "There you are! I've been looking all over for you!!" 

"Oh?" Kakashi inquired, looking back at him.

"Y-yeah! Um…this might sound a bit crazy, but, were you at my house last night?" He asked, out of breath from running all the way here and looking around. Kakashi looked almost bewildered.

"At your house?"

"Yeah…" Iruka's brow furrowed in nervousness.

"No…Not that I recall," The jounin said, going back to his papers. Iruka's eyes went wide.

"Wha-what? But what about the rings?"

"Rings?" Kakashi looked back to him.

"Yeah, the-" Iruka held out his left hand, only to find no golden ring around his fourth finger. "…rings…" He whispered, finishing his fragment. He examined his hand as though it were an alien specimen. "…" Kakashi stared at him, as did Shizune.

"Iruka…? Are you feeling okay?" Shizune asked, coming to his side and feeling his forehead as the bewildered chuunin kept his puzzled gaze on his hand. "Iruka?" Shizune repeated.

"Y-yeah…" He whispered, dropping his gaze and looking at Shizune, who looked right back with worried eyes.

"Are you sure? Tsunade could take a look at you…" She coaxed. Kakashi kept one eye fixed on the chuunin as he looked back to him.

"No…no, I'm fine…" He whispered, then turned and went out, completely confused. He paused at the doorway. "What day is this?"

"Why, it's Christmas morn, of course," Shizune stated matter-of-factly. Iruka nodded.

"Yes…yes, that's what I thought…" He said slowly, and walked out, thinking: _'Maybe it really was a dream after all…'_

Shizune looked back to Kakashi.

"Rings?"

The jounin merely shrugged.

"Maybe he's finally gone delusional…"

"OI!" Tsunade's voice boomed as she walked in the doors. " Shizuuuuune! Could you deal with these people?" The Hokage whined as she waltzed in through the doors and sat in the spinny chair behind the desk, propping her feet up on the table before her. Shizune groaned. "Yeah, yeah…" She mused, walking out of the room to greet the people whom Tsunade was referring to.

Kakashi sighed and shook his head like a dogs, taking off his scarf and gloves- it had gotten pretty hot and the winter clothing was beginning to faze him on the indoors. Tsunade watched him carefully as he went back to examining the papers. When he picked one up, Tsunade raised an eyebrow.

"Where'd ya get the ring?" She asked, in that 'damn-you-have-something-fancier-and-more-expensive-than-I-do-you-fucking-prick' tone.

"Huh?" Kakashi asked, looking at his left hand calmly. A small smile formed under his mask. "Oh…you know…" He mused, shrugging. As the jounin took some papers in his hands, he turned on his heel and walked to the door, pausing at the frame. "My lover," He whispered, and walked on out.

**-Fin-**

* * *

_-Epilogue-_

Umino Iruka never found the ring on his bed. And, after going through intensive therapy, had convinced himself it was merely a dream- an illusion of his own desire. Hatake Kakashi kept the secret to himself. Nearly two years later, he and Mitarashi Anko were married on December 12th. However, Kakashi held two rings on his finger forevermore- his sparkling golden marriage ring on his left and his shimmering silver engagement ring on his right.

What was a memory for one, was merely a dream for another.

_-Things are not always as they appear-_


End file.
